First Week of School Fashion Show

You step foot on campus for the first time in months. You know you’ve missed this place. You missed walking a million miles to get to a class that you don’t want to take just so you can graduate and get a job. You missed professors yelling at you for not turning in your paper on time and then taking seven months to grade it. You missed staring at the attractive people of the opposite sex only to realize that you have a piece of lettuce in your teeth and you spilled your water in a place that makes it look like the million mile walk between bathrooms was just too much for you. I know I have missed all of this.

In all honesty though I have missed school. I am glad to be back. I especially love the first week of school because it is like a fashion show. You get out of your car, off your bus, conclude your walk, or exit your spaceship and see everyone dressed to the nines trying to impress each other. The girls stomp down the sidewalks in 14 and a half inch heels trying to impress the guy who walked by staring at his reflection in the window of a building to make sure that every piece of hair is perfectly in place so that it looks mussed – of course the girls then trip and the guy inevitably runs into the nerd with the pocket protectors racing to the engineering building. Best fashion show in the world.

The first week of school everyone has done their back to school shopping and people come to that first week of classes dressed to impress. The girls wake up three hours and twelve minutes before classes to put on their make up perfectly and wear their cute new outfit, dreaming that “the one” will be in their class and hoping to make a good impression. The boys wake up a whole sixteen and a half minutes early to shower, do their hair, and put on the outfit that their mothers bought for them so that they look decent. Then, everyone struts their stuff down the sidewalks and to their classes.

In class, everyone is looking around to see if there is anyone attractive. If your classes are like mine there are about twenty girls who look like they have just been ripped from the pages of Vanity Fair (prom dresses are an option for the first week of school, after all, you want to look good). Then there’s one guy who looks like he may have modeled for Wal-Mart at one point and the rest of them look like malnourished versions of Mickey Rourke (post operation, of course)! Sigh. Such is life. Oh, if you’re wondering how I look for the first week of classes I shall describe myself: I’m the nerd sitting on the front row wearing glasses, basketball shorts, an oversized t-shirt and flip flops. I’m not wearing any makeup. Everyone else will look like me in two weeks. Unless they have amazing stamina. Or unless they are attracted to malnourished Mickey Rourkes.

I wait to do my back to school shopping until I’ve seen what everyone else is wearing and what is cool. It doesn’t really matter what I wear though. I always seem to end up attracting the malnourished version of Mickey Rourke who thinks he looks like Brad Pitt and thinks that everyone should be interested in the psychology of a nuerocircuit under the right moon of Mars during an eclipse. Sigh. Welcome to my life. And welcome back to school. Let the fashion week begin!