Decisions, Decisions

It’s here! Summer break…finally. I would be more excited but, lucky me, I have to take a summer course online so I can graduate on time. The best part of an online course is that I can put my professor on pause. If only I could do that in real life. But that is not what this post is about. Fooled you, didn’t I? I would say “April Fool’s!” but, let’s face it, I’m like, over a month late on that one.

Speaking of fools, one of my ex-boyfriends won’t stop calling me. He’s a 24-year-old man who thinks it’s mature to block his number, call your phone, and then when you say hello, to breathe into the phone respond with, “Oh crap.” And hang up. Yup. It’s always about my ex-boyfriends. Except this post is not about my ex-boyfriends. Fooled you again, didn’t I? I’m tricky. You gotta watch for the unexpected with me.

Okay, so what this post is really about is Facebook statuses. It is. Really. I’m being honest. Keep reading. It gets better. I enjoy reading peoples’ statuses. Just their statuses. Sometimes they are funny, other times they are so overly dramatic that they are funny, and yet, other times so drab that they are funny. Facebook statuses are funny things. The Facebook statuses that really irritate me though (and you were beginning to think that there weren’t any of those) are the ones that are incomplete thoughts because people are dying for attention.

I can see the wheels in your heads turning, going, “What is she talking about?” Well, let me give you an example. I hate statuses that say things like: “Decisions, decisions.” Of course no one knows what in the Sam Hill this person is talking about so they ask, “What decisions?” That is the question that the person wanted someone to ask in the first place. Usually it turns out that they were trying to decide something like whether or not to shave the hair in their ears and then they proceed to launch into a long, self-evaluative, and WAY too detailed comment about how long their ear hair has gotten.

So, I am now warning you: If you ever post an ambiguous status I will comment and I will make it less ambiguous. How? I will give you another example: Your status says, “Decisions, decisions.” My comment says: “I know. I hate it when you have to decide between boxers and briefs.” Don’t force my hand. I will do it.

If you want people to know your business, go ahead and just post all the information in your status. Granted, if you advertise that you have finally decided to get that fungus on your big toe removed, you’ll probably lose a few friends, but at least you won’t look like you’re desperate for attention.