As I was walking to class the other day, a terrible snow storm hit quite suddenly. This means that suddenly, the sky went from being blue and beautiful to black and scary. Then it started snowing. I shook my fist at the heavens and ran to class. When I came out of class I noticed two things:
The first thing that I noticed is that after this snow storm, which left the ground icy, people walked like ducks. Their toes were turned in, their arms were out, and their badonkadonks were sticking out behind them. While I realized that walking in this manner gives people a sense of security, it still looks ridiculous. The purpose of walking in this hideous manner is to prevent a fall. It doesn't help. It just makes you look ridiculous before you fall down. So, I tried to save some dignity and not walk like a duck. Needless to say, I fell down more than the other people around me. Don't feel too bad. I think I looked rather attractive when I fell. Perfect damsel in distress moment. Unfortunately there were no knights in shining armor around to save me. There was only a group of boys discussing Pokemon. Yeah. I ran away. Like a duck.
The second thing that I noticed after this snow storm is that college students are ugly in the winter. Laugh if you will. It's the truth. The girls don't put their faces on. Seriously. I don't wear makeup so I am accustomed to my own face looking quite naturally dull. I am not accustomed to other girls' faces looking the same way. Girls also don't do their hair. That's a lie. Girls do their hair, but it looks funny. Different. Ugly. I think they walked down a flight of stairs...using their hair. The boys don't look any better though. I didn't think that boys needed to do that much to maintain their look. Apparently they do. The boys don't do their hair either. But they wear hats over their ugly hair. These hats always seem to be pulled down to the end of their noses - from whence a long line of snot dangles. Boys also don't shave in the winter. They begin to look like Sasquatch. Both boys and girls wear sweats in the winter. I think they wear the same sweats. Nobody can tell what gender anyone is because everyone is apparently shaped the same. The only way to tell who is what is to look and see if the hair is wild, or if there is a long line of snot dangling from under a hat.
Yes, it's true. College students are ugly in the winter. They start to look better when spring comes around. The boys shave and the girls comb their hair. Then finals week comes and it's right back to where it started. So, I have made a decision. To avoid all this ugliness, I vote college students hibernate through the winter. Then we avoid all that ugliness...and the duck walk, of course.
